Buy stickers and Support The Surge!
‘The surge’… In itself it sounds undoubtedly manly and powerful (not unlike ’shock and awe’). So no doubt we need to support it, and I hope I can convince all (1-2) of you! As much as I rarely agree with this administration, this is something we all need to fully back them on. After all, we can’t just walk away and allow the region to (god forbid!) turn chaotic. And we can’t afford to turn on our backs on our young men and women so bravely fighting in Iraq now.
Which is why I support the ’surge’…but with one rule. We cannot ethically ask these brave men and women (many of which have done 3…4…up to 6 tours in Iraq) to extend their stay yet again. Let them have a break - let them come home to see their mothers, fathers, wives, or children, get their sanity back (if that’s possible), and visit their one-armed or one-legged buddies.
So instead let’s enlist (and send) the sons and daughters of all the chest thumping republicans who insist on the ’surge’ and the sons and daughters of all those whose sole sacrifice has been to stick a yellow ’support the troops’ ribbon on their SUV (after all, its much easier to buy a $2 sticker than to send a child off to war or forgo a tax cut).
First on the list could be be the sons and daughters of the most prominent supporters of ‘the surge.’ Let’s see, the Bush Twins, Barbara and Jenna, could dodge mortars in the Green Zone…Cheney’s two daughters could oversee the town of Abu Ghraib, home of the notorius prison…Joe Lieberman’s kids could be patrolling Haditha, and we’ll send MacCain’s family to Anbar province. That’d be fifteen right there, and if we tap into the grand kids we can cover the Fallujah brigade. Those that survive will come home and report what war is really like, since ALL their parents (except MacCain) got multiple deferments to avoid service!
For the remaining forces, we can tap into children of Congress and the other 30% or so of the country (dwindling as time goes on) who still support the Chief Chimp - those who still can’t see the writing on the wall - who even now support killing more americans (and Iraqis) for the deranged visions of a handful of scary but powerful men. With their ‘most-likely-drinking-the-kool-aid-anyway’ offspring armored up, hell, we could send more than the 48,000 troops necessary for the surge.
‘What’s that?’ you say? ‘I thought the surge was $21,000 troops?’ Well incidentally, a report by the Congressional Budget Office says that sending the brigades the administration wants would actually mean sending 48,000 (including support personnel) rather than the 21,500 claimed by the Head Chimp. As always, the dollar figures are understated as well - rather than the claimed $ 5.6 billion, the report says that “costs would range from $9 billion to $13 billion for a four-month deployment and from $20 billion to $27 billion for a 12-month deployment.”
To cover the additional costs I suggest the government issue special yellow ’support the troops’ stickers at a cost of $5,000 apiece and make the ’surge’ supporters buy enough to pay the difference. And as the deployment time is extended, they simply have to buy more. Let’s see how many of them support our Commander-in-Chief then!
…Stay the Course!
